FUN FUN FUN

We went on yet another trip, to play and have fun. I think I'm definately avoiding all of my feelings and trying to play my pain away. It seems to be working for the mean time. So we went to Las Vegas and went to see Seinfeld. It was HILLARIOUSSS....
Ben's sexy face, Leigh-Anne and Joe
My big man, I've lost a few pounds so thank goodness he can pick me up. whoow
Ben is being a tiger, raarr, and I'm like "Ohh please don't eat me."
We had a wonderful time. I was glad to get away and escape if only for one weekend. I guess i'll stay home for a little while now. Face some of the thoughts and hard feelings that go along with grieving for a loved one. I think escaping from time to time is healthy.

Its all a bad dream

On Monday morning as I went into my kids room, I looked over my shoulder as I usually do to make sure the snakes, that Ben thinks need to be in the boys rooms are still there. I have always feared the idea of them escaping into the house. How horrible that would be ahhhh.

So I glanced over my shoulder and did a double take, the snake that is normally hanging on this big log in the cage isn't there. So I stepped back and took of the top of the cage, I moved stuff around examining every little corner, I even took my finger and ran it threw all the sand at the bottom thinking to myself "This is not possible it has to be under something, anything." Fear was starting to surface now. I could feel my face getting hot and I yelled for Caden, in the hope that, I don't know somehow my 6 year old can make all of this right! I start looking around my room in horror thinking "O my gosh its out, its in my precious home my sanctuary is being inhabited by a cold blooded snake." A jungle carpet python to be exact.

So I call Ben he is on his way to work, I told him to get home immediately, he kept saying its not a big deal Jenny calm down. I was not calm, my mind went to " well I can go stay in my grandma's basement until this thing is caught." Its not that I'm really afraid that a snake is going to hurt me. Its that I have a Baby and all I can think about is that this snake is cold blooded and it wants to be with things that are warm. What is more warm and snugly than a baby. AHHHH

We went all day not able to locate the snake. I cleaned rooms out. Looked in every corner and every time I saw a black belt or something dark, I felt all scared and shaky. So night came and my anxiety was through the roof. I was worried to put Brynlee in her room. So I went into my room to fall asleep or at least try to and (just so you know Ben is already snoring away not the least bit concerned about the monster loose in our home.) It was then that I heard this big crash!! I jumped out of bed wondering, what on earth could that be. Of course in my mind the snake had grown and i was thinking it was in the kids room terrorising them. (I have a good imagination) I couldn't find anything so I went to lay down again, and crash there was the same sound again. My heart started to race and I hit Ben and said "get up there is something in this house making noises. " So we went out on the prowl, Ben in his I don't care voice said " Here is the snake you have been looking for" So there it was not as big as I had remembered hanging out in the shower on the ledge. He was sticking his tongue out at me I think trying to irritate me. Well so it was over the drama of wondering where the beast could have been. I slept well that night thank goodness. Never again will that happen, I put like 10 books on top of its cage. Ha try to get out now you filthy animal. Ha

Well its been a year since my brother Elder Casey Humphreys has been out on his mission. Alot of stuff has changed since he has been gone. Its so strange how so much stuff can happen in one year. I love my brother so much. He and I have always been very close its been hard to not have him around at this time in our lives. He is serving so diligently. I don't know many men who would be able to stay out on there mission in the midst of there mom dieing. He is the strongest person I know and I am excited that he has brought many people into the gospel. Way to go Casey, I love you.

Girls Weekend

This is our new family we are currently recruiting so let me know if you would like to join. The more the merrier. We like warm fun loving people, that are willing to bear there souls. Secrets are not allowed!!!

Liegh-Anne and I at my Dad's house
Pretty Girls
Shan and Brynlee sharing a moment.
Car time is so fun, we sang, laughed and cried boo hoo.
Shan and Britta

We all went to St.George over last weekend for a girls weekend. It was so much fun. These days of feeling sad alot of the time it sure feels nice to blow off the cares of the world and throw caution to the wind. So we said "see you later alligators to our families" We left on Friday we went shopping, layed by the pool got a tan, we had a big slumber party out in the living room. Going to St. George is always really hard with my mom not being there anymore. I look around and see her everywhere. When we where there with friends laughing and having a good time it filled the house with happiness. It felt really great. I encourage you all to have a big long girls weekend soon.

Halloween

- We are playing BigBudda-

-Ben and I, he was the best Big Budda, for ovious reasons-
Raggity Ann and Indian Princess
Tara being a Greek Godess
My cousin Adam and Tara Jane

I had an Adult Halloween Party at my house, it was so great, we played lots of games and laughed and just acted silly. We played this one game where we had to smash a balloon between your partner and you, when it popped you had to find this little paper that was inside and do what ever it said to do! Me and my cousin michelle popped a balloon together and it said kiss your favorite person so we smacked a big one on each other it was funny. Awww good times.......

MY DREAM

There is a song I listen to often that makes me cry with excitment. I am so excited for my return to see my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. For all my questions to finally be answered. I have so many questions. I want to know why my mom had to be taken at this particular time. I want to know if our prayers are heard by everyone in heaven, like a big microphone. The ones we love up there hear them, and my mom here's and says "there's my Jen praying to our Father, good job Jenny." How often are the ones we love with us comforting us. I want to make it back, and have my Heavenly Father proud of me and say to me " You indured well"

Its hard loosing a loved one on earth it hurts so bad. I constantly ache to see her and want to be with her. So I see her face at the front of the crowd of people awaiting my arrival in heaven. I always wonder what it was like for my mom when she went back home to so many people that missed her so much. To all my children and all there children that haven't even begun this test on earth!

So this is the words to a song I listen to often, while I listen I think of heaven and when I get to be born into the spirit world once again and how that must feel.

I have often dreamed of a far off place. Where a great warm welcome will be waiting for me. Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face, and a voice keeps saying this is where i'm ment to be. I will find my way. I can go the distance, i'll be there some day if I can be strong. I know every mile will be worth my while. I don't care how far somehow i'll be strong.

AM I SUPPORTIVE OR JUST STUPID

This is my disapproving look!!

In trying to support my husband I have found myself having to deal with many things I would rather not have to deal with. He loves animals its a bit of a hobby really, So 3 years ago came the obsession with dogs, watching dog shows and looking on line to find the perfect breed of dog. I didn't really want a huge mastiff (one of the biggest breeds that exist, so we have a horse in the back yard) .... Then that obsession died out and the reptile mania began. One year ago Ben went to a reptile expo and got our first snake! I was furious at the time, then it became a fun bonding time for the boys and Ben. They would go get a mouse together and watch it eat and yell and scream about how awesome it was. Then a few weeks ago another reptile expo came along, Ben was more excited then Christmas morning. It was ridiculous. So I said get one snake and that is all. He kept saying we will see, so with a disapproving look they were off. When they came home they had two snakes, (I was not surprised) So now I sit around and wonder am I supportive of just plain stupid.

BATH TIME

She loves her bath
Sweet little baby
I love naked babies
She is 2 1/2 months old

The many faces of my Brynlee Baby!!

The first pose is her " Just a minute I'll push it out, you better be ready" face.

The second pose is "Oh mommy your so funny" face.

The third pose is, is this my lunch time Boobie or my dinner Boobie. (That is what we call it in my home
I'm sure there is a much more politically
correct way to say that. oh well!)

Baby Blues

I am happy to report that my baby is now 11 weeks old and she is doing wonderfully. She sleeps tell 6:15 every morning then goes right back to bed until like 8:00. She smiles at me and just has the most precious expressions. Ooh I could suck her face off, that is how cute she is to me. My blues don't come because of my precious baby. They come because I can't seem to get off these last few pound of baby weight. I gained an obscene amount of weight while pregnant with Brynlee, (lets just say I wasn't in the 100's anymore) pretty terrible really. But I have a motto and it is... "there is no other time in my life that being fat is ok, so I eat whatever I want when I'm pregnant cause I am hungry." So my dilemma now is, loosing the rest of my weight, I already lost like 45 pounds since she was born and that is good but I need to loose more. So if you have any advice on how to get past my bodies natural happy place please let me know.

-This is a before picture not even to my highest weight, This is a now picture, my boobs are so big they account for at least 5 pounds each.

Check out my Poll at the bottom!

Help me figure out my dilema. We are planning a trip with lots of family and friends. We are kinda incharge and i'm trying to figure out how is the best way to feed everyone. Thanks.

Weekend at the Cabin

We went up to Kamas this last weekend. I was dreading it because this was the first time taking Brynlee out on a trip. I was worried she wouldn't sleep as well in a different place. So we decided to go for a night. It was so fun, the cabin we stayed at was really nice. The boys had a blast and we were all having fun family time. Brynlee slept better than she does at home some nights, so that made me really happy. We stayed up there with Ben's parents, they have 4 wheelers so we did a little 4 wheeling it was such a good time. They had a swimming pool and playground close to the cabin, the kids had a blast.

Grandma and Brynlee

This is Brynlee's first bath. Its always been a tradition to have my mom and my grandma there for the first bath. So My grandma came to my house and helped me give her a bath. These pictures are precious because my grandma is 81, and as I have come to find out your loved ones don't stay here forever. For now my grandma is the closest thing to a mom I have on this earth. I love her dearly.

Bumping into the dreaded EX

Well today we were going to see Bourne Ultimatium. We where waiting for our food and I was loving on Ben, sitting on his lap and running my fingers through his hair. Ya know all that mushy stuff you only manage to do when your on a date. When out of the corner of my eye I see a girl that I recognize from Bens old high school dance pictures. It was the Ex. She wrote Ben all through his mission and he wanted to marry her when he got home. She wrote him 2 letters a week for his whole mission. I've read letters from her to him, they where pretty intense. They even had a place at the bottom of each letter where they drew a box, in the box they would kiss it and pretend they where kissing each other. Gag me. Well I think we all hope when we see the dreaded Ex of our husbands that we will look smoking hot and she will be not so glorious. Well my dream came true tonight........ I looked as good as you can look after having a baby 7 weeks ago. She on the other hand well I don't want to be rude but she was a little bit bigger than Ben remembered. When Ben got home from the mish she broke it off and told him she was in love with a truck driver. Ben was heartbroken but soon found -this hot mama- and its all history from there. I think after tonight Ben should be thanking his lucky stars that he has such a smoking hot wife. (comparably):)

Seeking Comfort

Loss is an interesting thing, those who have never experienced it are scared of it. They wonder how they would ever get through something like that? People come up to me and say " oh my gosh, I don't know what I would do if my mom passed away." I think to my self, "no one asked me if I wanted to do this, but sometimes you don't have a choice." Then there are people that have lost close loved ones. There is a look that I share with these people, all I have to do is look at them and they know how I feel. Just a look, its interesting how much you can tell just by looking into people's eyes. I have these good friends in my ward (among so many others that help me on a daily bases.)they lost there Dad a few weeks before I lost my Mom. We have formed a close bond. There is something so comforting when you know that people have such a good idea of the burdens you hold up. Because I hide them from most people, they don't understand and sadly most forget of the inner torture I'm under on a daily bases. I don't expect people to understand these feelings, even my husband, as much as he tries doesn't understand, he has never lost someone so dear to him. So I guess I'm thankful for people my Heavenly Father put in my path to help me feel not so alone. Thanks LeighAnn and Britta, Their dad Darren Pratt passed away in February 2007.

It's hard work being the center of attention

We blessed our baby Brynlee on August 19, 2007. She did wonderfully and stayed still through the whole blessing, she didn't make a peep. Ben did excellent, he told me that he felt the spirit so strong. He felt a lot of very strong feelings while giving the blessing (he even cried while giving the blessing.) I was so proud of both of them. Some special things that the blessing said where " that she would be a peacemaker." also " She would be a force for righteousness and good." That she is blessed to have the light of Christ and it will shine in times of Darkness." Those are just a few things among many others that make us feel that this little angel is a wonderful gift to our family. On a personal note, with the absence of my mom, Brynlee continues to bring me much peace and always makes me feel that she knows how sad I am and I know she looks at me at times and makes me feel that it is all right. Children are a blessing and a joy straight from heaven.