A hole in our bansiter, she could fall 4ft". She has no idea and loves to taunt me and scare me.

My sweet little Brynlee is so cute she is so loving so wonderful but she is driving me crazy!!!! One year olds are so hard, I need to remember for next time I have a baby, "don't be afraid for the birth or even when they are infants. Be very afraid for when they turn one!!" Ha Ha I think its that the sweet little angel, gets into everything. She sticks her hand in the toilet, she climbs ontop of the kitchen table and then falls off. She eats crayons, she eats chapstick, she dumps out a bowl of milk on the couch. Don't even get me started with the Christmas tree its a nightmare.

Its scary really, they are these little people that can walk and climb and lift. But they have no idea what is dangerous, what could hurt them. She would just go walking right into on coming traffic if I was not there. As hard as she is and as much as I want to just pull my hair out with all the naughty little things that she does. I'm so glad that I am here to protect her from the dangers of this world. Sweet little (not so smart) baby!!

Oh my sweet little Blake isn't so little anymore I can't believe he turned 5, Time goes by way to fast. I remember the day he was born he weighed 8 lbs. 7 oz, he was so cute, you have never seen a more beautiful baby than him. He had huge cheeks and sweet beautiful bright red lips. He was crying crying than they layed him on my chest and I was crying and I kept wispering to him its ok, its ok, then he stopped crying and just stared at me. Blake is so sweet and helpful, he always tells me he loves me in the most intense way. He is an intense little boy we always know how he feels good or bad. I love you Blake so much you are my sweet boy!! Happy Birthday.

We broke free, from our kids!!

Two weeks ago we went on a vacation with out the kids, that is right we were able to brake free and enjoy some time away from our adorable and sweet but exhausting children!! The reason for this vacation was because my bro. came home from his mission!! Yeah. In light of the saddness he was coming home to, with our sweet mom having passed away while he was on his mission. So we all packed our bags and flew to the happiest place on earth Disneyland!! We had a great time and tryed to celebrate the return of Casey!!

It was fun because we where there while all the christmas stuff was out!!

My sisters I love them so much!!

Siblings reunited

So glad you are home Cas, love you!!

Casey is finally home!!

Casey is home I'm so excited, its the best. We got him from the airport on tuesday then went to our Grandmas house for the rest of the day. Missionaries come home and they act so strange for a while. Casey has been pretty normal but he not only has to come home from a mission and adjust to real life he also has to adjust to our mom not being around. He is doing amazing though, his report he gave on sunday was really uplifting to all of us. You know I search and search for something to make me feel better about my mom and I worry and worry how Casey will deal with all of this when he gets home. Its amazing because it is so simple, the only way is through Jesus Christ and his atonement, and when I think of that everything slows down I don't worry and it all seems piecefull. Only then ( when I finally realize this which usually takes me a very long time of suffering) Do I know everything will work out. Its all wonderful!!! (I'm a ding ding and forgot my camera so i'll put pictures up later!!

Spooky

Don't upset Wolverine he will run you through!!

Cool biker dude!

What a cute Mummy, 8 months prego. So cute shan!!

All the cousins together Emma, Caden, Nick, Blake, Jay, Carter and Brynlee. Wow cute stuff.

Tara and Brynlee love eachother very much, its so cute, Tara want Brynlee to be her baby, sorry she is my baby. ha ha

Spooky!!

Ms. Red Ridding Hood, Sooo cute!!

We had a great Halloween this year!! We all dressed up and looked Fabulous. Brynlee was Red Ridding Hood, Blake was the white power ranger and Caden was a Recon commando. I was an Indian girl and Ben was ..... can you guess who he is????

Running

I have been doing a bit of running lately, I'm trying to get in shape for a Tennis Tournament i'm going to be in, in St. George. I'm so excited, when I play tennis I feel alive. There is something so great about hitting a ball as hard as you can at your opponent that feels so good. Whoow!! So I need to stay motivated to continue to work out and run and find time with my sweet children to play tennis. So if I tell all of you I hopefully will keep it up and be ready for my tournament to kick butt!!

My little bro. is coming home from his mission, in 2 1/2 weeks. I'm so excited it will be so fun. I'm right out gitty about it. I can't wait for Nov. 4th to come. He is such a huge part of our family, for 2 years, 2 of our family members have been gone fulfilling there missions, when my mom left it felt extra empty cause Casey was still on his mission. My two sisters are great but not enough (sorry girls I know you feel the same way, love you) So to have Casey come home will be so nice it will be one more person to lean on when times are hard and he can lean on all of us. Siblings are so great. If you think about it we are with Siblings the longest, our parents die before us, we die before our children, we don't meet our husbands untill we are older. Our siblings are born around the same time we are and they hopefully grow old with us. I love all my Siblings. So I thought I would list some of the reasons I love Casey so much and what makes him so great.
1. His laugh is infectious
2. He is so funny, and has the greatest since of humor.
3. He loves the simpsons, I miss hearing him laugh at the T.V. in the other room. ha
4.He plays the piano beatifully
5. He is so responsible
6. He is so mature and always has been, he is a very old spirit
7, Casey always knows what to say when I'm upset, to help me with a problem.
8. He is very sensitive, he loved and loves my mom and was and is the perfect son in every way.
9. All of his nieces and nephews love him to death, because they know he loves them.
10. Casey is a wonderful missionary, he has done so many wonderful things on his mission. He has worked hard the served the Lord well. And he kept serving his mission even when he new his mom was going to pass away. He is the strongest person I know. I love him!!

(These are very old pictures, he was only 18 her and he is 21 now)

Late night movie

I watched a movie tonight in the dark by myself. It was called P.S I love you. It was a good movie for those of us who don't know about the horribleness of losing a dear dear loved one. The movie is about a women who looses her husband to cancer, while he is dying and knows he won't be there any more he wrights letters and does things so that his absence won't be so unbearable. Even though this movie was about a married couple, I couldn't help but relate it to my own life and my own personal loss. My mom didn't leave any of us kids letters or anything. It makes me sad, really sad almost mad!! I think about what that would have meant to me to have some words of wisdom from her to look back on and remember how much she loves me. Part of this is easy to understand, while my mom was sick and we were worried it might take her life, our families couping mechanism was to keep pushing, looking for the miracle that would save her. We never let her give up and we never lost our faith untill the bitter end. So really we didn't have time, she didn't have time she was trying to stay alive for all of us, I think she knew she was maybe going to pass on to the next life, but she never wanted to let us see she had given up. So thanks for listening, I think I know now why she didn't write us letters. She was to busy fighting for all of us kids and our dad and her family to stay alive. I know she loves me so much, she loved me so much that she was fighting to stay in this life even though she wanted to give up I know many times. So thanks mom for wanting to stay with me and live. I know that Heavenly Father had different plans for you and our family. (This is one of my Blog therapy sessions, I don't mean to be all sad and depressing, it helps to write all this down!!)

When we got our family pictures done, Ben and I went off with the Photographer and took some sappy pictures. I love seeing us together, loving one another. You tend to forget with all the craziness how much each of you mean to one another. I love Ben and he is a wonderful husband and a great father!!

Our new family pictues

We got some professional pictures done a couple of weeks ago. I love my kids so much, they are so adorable. My Caden is getting so big and Blake has lost that all his baby fat in his face. My Brynlee has the most beautiful eyes, wow, what a cutie!!

My Nemasis

Meet the thorn in my side. Laundry is one of those jobs I never seem to be able to keep on top of. These pictures don't even show how bad it usually is. i struggle with keeping it all done. I just got my laundry room finished like a week ago. Before then it was literally a whole in the ground!! Now it is bright and beautiful and I want to keep it looking nice and clean, and free of clothes all over the floor. I try to put laundry in daily, but then I forget that it is in the washer, then I forget its in the dryer, then I forget I need to fold them, then I never put them away. I would love any advice from anyone who has the whole laundry thing figured out better than me. Or those who just want to empathize with me. I need a system!!

Camping

We went up to the Uinta's and went camping with some friends, we had so much fun. They got so dirty, I hate camping because of this, good thing we have wet wipes!!

My boys have really become good friends, It makes me so happy, they used to hate each other. Ahhh brotherly love!!

Daddy loves his little girl.

This is the whole gang, dog and all.

Brynlee is a big girl!!

Brynlee has grown so much, I can't even believe how they change in one year.

Brynlee is One now I haven't found her birthday pictures yet so these will have to do!! She is such a good baby, we all love her so much. Ben is in total love with her. I love it, she can make him do anything she wants. She definately has daddy wrapped around her little finger!!

Caden and Brynlee have a very special relationship, they love each other. Caden is so good with her!!

Brynlee is a pro-walker now she is practically running!

I love when baby's squat down like this it is so adorable!!

It just keeps on coming!!

I really hate to be sad, I avoid it at all costs!! I pretend I'm fine, I concentrate on projects, I play way to much. Then it comes I can't stop it, I can't run from it anymore, its there in my stomach bubbling up inside me. So I finally surrender to the pain that I feel. I cry and then I cry some more. It helps to finally acknowledge the emotions that come from loosing a mother at a early age in life, when I still have young children. I think the hardest thing about loosing my mom is not having her love and support with my kids. My mom would have loved my daughter Brynlee. She would have just kissed her,, loved her and not been able to keep her hands off of her . Brynlee is one of those kids that everyone loves and it makes it that much harder to think of my mom with her, cause I know that they would have been very close. Caden is going into 2nd grade tomorrow I think my mom would have called tonight to wish him luck. My son Blake tonight told me he missed my mom and said " Is Grandpa Kelly going to die too." I told him no not to worry grandpa is going to be around for a very long time. It always helps to write my feelings down and send it out there. Mom I love you!! I miss you, I will continue to be strong until I see you again!!

More fun to have!

On the Lake!!

Sweet little Blake.

Captain Caden

Stud man Blakey! So strong.

Brynlee is hide and seek. Peekaboo!

Flaming Gorge

We had fun going down the Green River!!

Brynlee is all safe in a life jacket. So cute!!

Blake was so scared the whole time, he did not let go of the rope the whole time. He felt that if he let go of the rope the boat would go under!! Ha Ha

Brynlee isn't afraid of anything. This water is freezing!!

Sweet baby!!