Sunday, August 17, 2008

It just keeps on coming!!

I really hate to be sad, I avoid it at all costs!! I pretend I'm fine, I concentrate on projects, I play way to much. Then it comes I can't stop it, I can't run from it anymore, its there in my stomach bubbling up inside me. So I finally surrender to the pain that I feel. I cry and then I cry some more. It helps to finally acknowledge the emotions that come from loosing a mother at a early age in life, when I still have young children. I think the hardest thing about loosing my mom is not having her love and support with my kids. My mom would have loved my daughter Brynlee. She would have just kissed her,, loved her and not been able to keep her hands off of her . Brynlee is one of those kids that everyone loves and it makes it that much harder to think of my mom with her, cause I know that they would have been very close. Caden is going into 2nd grade tomorrow I think my mom would have called tonight to wish him luck. My son Blake tonight told me he missed my mom and said " Is Grandpa Kelly going to die too." I told him no not to worry grandpa is going to be around for a very long time. It always helps to write my feelings down and send it out there. Mom I love you!! I miss you, I will continue to be strong until I see you again!!

9 comments:

Ginnie said...

I'm thinking of you...

Ed and Ivy said...

Hi Jenny - it's me, Ivy Millburg. I saw your blog through Malisa's, I love that so many people have blogs, and its so great to see pictures of your family!

Malisa Karren said...

I would cry everyday! You just go ahead and cry! Your mom was awesome and you have her spirit in you! Hang in there!

Tara said...

There are not many people in the world who are going through the same exact trial at the same time, but we are Jen, we will make it somehow. I love you.

Andrea said...

You are an amazing woman with an amazing family. Family is the greatest blessing in this world. I hope to be as close to my children as you were to your mom.

Chelsea said...

Ah Jenny.....I'm so sorry. Cry when ever you need to. It lets the sadness out. I haven't forgot, we need to get together. e-mail me @ chelseawhitney@gmail.com

Merilee said...

Jenny, I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I wish that there was something I could do or say to help. I am here if you need to talk.
Sorry I have been bad at staying in touch lately, I've been really busy. We need to get together. I have to talk to you about something too, so I will be calling you soon!

NAT said...

Jen, I'm so sorry. I know that you're going through a rough time and I can't imagine what that would be like. I know your Mom is watching over you and your sweet family everyday.

Frog Family said...

Jenny-
Hey I've been thinking alot about you lately and I'm so sorry you are having this trial in your life. I don't envy you at all. It was so good to see pics of your sweet family. I haven't seen you for years except through those pictures. I'm a rookie blogger but if you want to check mine out go to frogfamily.blogspot.com.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Lindsey Used to be Lester now Frongner