Sunday, August 17, 2008
It just keeps on coming!!
I really hate to be sad, I avoid it at all costs!! I pretend I'm fine, I concentrate on projects, I play way to much. Then it comes I can't stop it, I can't run from it anymore, its there in my stomach bubbling up inside me. So I finally surrender to the pain that I feel. I cry and then I cry some more. It helps to finally acknowledge the emotions that come from loosing a mother at a early age in life, when I still have young children. I think the hardest thing about loosing my mom is not having her love and support with my kids. My mom would have loved my daughter Brynlee. She would have just kissed her,, loved her and not been able to keep her hands off of her . Brynlee is one of those kids that everyone loves and it makes it that much harder to think of my mom with her, cause I know that they would have been very close. Caden is going into 2nd grade tomorrow I think my mom would have called tonight to wish him luck. My son Blake tonight told me he missed my mom and said " Is Grandpa Kelly going to die too." I told him no not to worry grandpa is going to be around for a very long time. It always helps to write my feelings down and send it out there. Mom I love you!! I miss you, I will continue to be strong until I see you again!!